I hereby announce that I am going from Couch to 5K in honor of my dad, who has heart disease, and to clear out my arteries since I learned this weekend that I have heart disease on BOTH sides of my family.  I haven’t run in 18 years.  When I ran 18 years ago it was for my high school track team and I was a long and triple jumper and a sprinter - 110 hurdles was the longest race I ever ran.  I did my first three 20 minute runs last week (baby steps, people - I’m 36 years old!). $100 asics, nike earphones, new running clothes and my phone make a huge difference.  I need the name of a 5K in the Ventura County area to sign up for this fall/winter.   I can already tell on each run how well I ate the day before.  Sticking with Monica’s Ideal Balance nutritional advice is an ongoing challenge for me, but I’ve gotten progressively good at seeing the wisdom of her ways, and I have accepted her wisdom that change is a pendulum and we’ll have slippages along the way.  Wish me luck, people. This old grey mare ain’t what it used to be. Or, as my friend Alexis put it, via that infamous quote in Top Gun, it may well be that “Son, your ego’s writing checks your body can’t cash.”

We live one life on the weekends and during low pressure and less stressful weeks - when we are healthy.  We pack our lunches, eat salads at restaurants, hit the gym 3 times a week, and go to bed early. Ahhh….those healthy weeks.

Then we live another life during those busy weeks when we have a project due or are traveling like mad - when we skip the gym all together, consume too much sugar and coffee, and are chronically sleep deprived.  We know somewhere in the back of our heads that our unhealthy habits are just making everything worse - but the vicious circle just gets worse and worse.

This is especially difficult if you are trying to lose weight.  Because every time stress hits - the weight loss slows or stops all together.  You are constantly on a pendulum - between your healthy life and your unhealthy one.

I totally understand this plight and I struggled with it when I was in corporate and again today as an entrepreneur.  It’s just plain easier to be healthy when nothing else is going on.  And it is very tempting to use food to make things better after a busy day.  My personal favorite calmer - Reese’s peanut butter cups.

But over the years I’ve learned a few things about stress and overwhelm.  First, letting your healthy habits go - only makes it worse.  You wouldn’t believe the effects sugar can have on your mood - especially after the initial high.  What is really a tolerable day can turn into the “worst day in the world” after you’ve consumed too much sugar! Second, a few rules and structure can make things easier.

For example:

1. The busier you become - the more important it is that you have a set healthy eating pattern and schedule so you can focus on your work or family.  Write out 3 healthy breakfasts, lunches and dinners that you can go to in a pinch.  Make sure you have all the ingredients on hand and just switch between them to get you through that busy period. Also, remember to eat at the same times each day - 3 hours apart.  If you need to, set a timer on your computer.  That way, you aren’t thinking - you eat to fuel yourself and then you can keep going.

2. Don’t stop working out.  Just make it easier on yourself by changing it up or reducing the time.  The most important thing about working out is consistency.  That way when you switch back to your healthy double life, you won’t have to start over.  So if you normally spend an hour at the gym, maybe you go for a 30 minute walk instead.  Or perhaps you do a 20 minute yoga routine in your room before work. Or just do some sit-ups and pushups and lunges.  Just keep moving your body, believe me it will help you to get through your busy time.

3. Use “Healthy Fast Food” Options.  Don’t try to cook elaborate meals when you are in your “too busy to be healthy” period.  And don’t beat yourself up for not cooking.  Try ordering some of the healthier meals from Fresh Direct or picking up a meal from the bar at Whole Foods.  Just make sure you plan for both meals and snacks.  You may also want to try a local healthy food delivery service just for a few days or weeks until you can get through your busy periods.

4. Avoid using food as your reward.  When we are working like dogs, it is tempting to use food as a treat after a long day - a comfortable way to chill out and relax.  Make a list of non-food rewards instead.  Perhaps a long walk with a good friend, a bath, a massage, a show.  Plan the rewards ahead of time so that you can look forward to a shining light at the end of a long day (a light that doesn’t add to your hips in the process).

Just remember this, if you can just keep some “healthy systems” in place during your crazy weeks, you’ll find it much easier to be consistent and to see the weight come off faster and consistently.   You’ll also feel much better during those busy times.

learn how to pull together all of your lives!

To check out more on what to eat and how to make it all fit together during your busy times - check out our Life and Body Makeover Program. It contains recipes, meal planners, shopping lists - everything you need to simplify your healthy lifestyle!

I’m a good mom - not a perfect mom, but a good mom. I love my kid to the end of the earth, I’m pretty intuitive about her needs, I know how to comfort her, have fun with her, teach her important lessons.

But man, my parenting skills are nothing compared to Andy’s. It’s no contest- I had the edge when I was nursing, but even before I weaned Shing, it was all over. He had her at hello. Maybe it’s because he grew up with a single mom who was incredibly self-sacrificing and smart about her own parenting (with damned fine results). Maybe it’s all the counseling training he’s had. Maybe it’s a god-given talent. Maybe it’s Maybelline. Whatever the reason, I’ve come to peace with the fact that Andy is a better parent than I, and I’m more grateful about it than anything else.

I know, every wife thinks her husband is super-dad. But even if you’ve fallen asleep reading this by now, I’m going continue writing anyway, for me and for him, more than anyone else. Here are my arguments for why Andy is an extraordinary parent, in the deepest sense of that descriptor. He’s extra-ordinary, way beyond the ordinary great dad.

For one, Andy is more strict with Shing than I am. This is not fun for her in one sense, but the consistency is really helping her develop into an amazing little human so far. He is her rock, her Gibraltar. Instinctively, I am certain she knows he will always, always, be there for her - to catch her when she falls, to comfort her afterwards, to come to for help. He’s also teaching her good habits this way, to wash her hands after she uses the restroom, to brush her teeth twice a day, to eat vegetables, to go to sleep at a decent hour. She seeks routine instinctively, finds comfort in it, and thrives because of it.

As she grows older, I know she will also seek his wise counsel (as do I and so many of our friends and family). In fact, I would say that my friends and my family come to him independently (contacting him directly without going through me) for advice much more often than they come to me. He’s generally not only a better listener than I am, but also brings a truly wise perspective on the world that we all gravitate to.

Andy is also really, really fun to play with. I’m guessing this came from years of YMCA camp counseling, teaching music to K-12 kids, and maybe just really feeling like he had to grow up a little too fast (his mom worked a lot of night shifts, so he felt like a bit of a latch-key kid…which also had massive benefits in terms of his maturity and independence). He’s endlessly inventive about play, and genuinely enjoys it. Case in point: at a recent Star Wars birthday party, Andy was the only parent to sit on the grass with the kids while the Obi-Wan Kenobi magician performed. He’s very present with Shing and all kids, and really engages.

Lastly, Andy is generally just more balanced than I am (for now). So he has the energy to handle Shing’s ups and downs. He prioritizes us as a family most of the time, takes care of himself on balance with that, which then circles back to having more energy for the family. He did the idealblanceinc.com cleanse last year that really helped him get even better at the balance he already had.

Happy Father’s Day, sweetheart. We’re the luckiest ladies in the world to have you as the Father in our family.

XOXO,
Y.H.

where even the best intentions can be thwarted...

I just spent two weekends traveling.  A weekend in Las Vegas and a weekend in Cleveland to visit my newborn niece, who by the way might be the cutest thing on the planet (not that I’m biased).   And I noticed was how hard it is to eat healthy at restaurants. My clients often complain about this, and when I’m out with my friends, I notice how everyone seems to order what I order so that they don’t have to think so hard about it.

Have you ever had the experience of going to a restaurant with the best intentions to eat healthy - so you order fish and vegetables.  Then when the fish comes, it is covered in cream sauce and the veggies are drenched in oil.  You look at your plate and realize that “healthy” is nowhere on this plate.

Or perhaps you’ve been at a restaurant and made the mistake of walking in hungry and before you realize it, you’ve downed a basket of bread or chips?

For most people, the hardest part about maintaining a healthy regimen is eating out with friends.  You get into the spirit of being with friends or family and just wanting to let go, relax and eat what you want.  Who wants to think so hard about food?  All we want is just to have a good time, right?

I totally understand this sentiment.  But, unfortunately 3 unplanned restaurant splurge meals can be enough to slow your weight loss to a crawl (especially if you aren’t working out).  So, if you are someone who eats out more than once a week - than learning to eat healthy at restaurants may be the ticket to you weight loss success.

So let’s start with mindset.  So many of us associate eating out with unhealthy foods like excess cheese, wine and bread and we associate those foods with relaxation after a long day or a long week.  We also associate comfort foods with having fun and finally being able to let go.  The first place to start is to decrease this association.  Yes, relaxing is important after a long week - but are there other ways to relax?  Could you go for a walk, get a massage, call a good friend?  The next time you are a restaurant and about to order the pasta with cream sauce - ask yourself, what does this food represent to me?  If it’s fun, pleasure and relaxation - then could you get that in another way?  It may take some time, but noticing your habits to let your unhealthy foods be the “fun” part of your life is a good place to start.

Second, there’s a few simple tips that may help.

1.  Never go to a restaurant starving.  Always stop at a convenient store or at home and pick up a protein snack ahead of time.  See my last blog post for more tips here.

2. Decide ahead of time what you are going to order at the restaurant so that temptation on the menu does not get the best of you.  You could even look at the restaurant menu on menupages.com and take your time to find what is healthy.

3.  Take your time to look at the menu.  There is usually a healthy option on every menu.  It just takes time to find it.  Most people order the first thing that they see on menus that suits them, but you must hunt for that which is tasty and healthy.   If you find that you get embarrassed when you take the time to really look and think - then get the menu ahead of time.

4. Be sure to ask the waiter what is in your food and ask for substitutions.  I just had a client visit a restaurant and ask for a her soup without cream and her entree without cream and low oil.  The restaurant was more than happy to oblige. If you are stuck in a place where you don’t want to be a pain, ask yourself this - Do you want your really want to find your ideal body?  Or would you rather please everyone?

5. Know when you are going to have a splurge meal.  Decide ahead of time what restaurants you love and pick those as your once a week splurge meal.  You’ll find that it is easier to eat healthy if you allow yourself to eat your favorite foods every so often.

I had a client come to me who was a food and wine writer who ate out 4 times a week and was concerned about her health.  We worked on the suggestions above and she started printing out menus ahead of time and deciding what she wanted to order that way.  Before long she had dropped 15 pounds simply by deciding what foods she was going to eat and what foods she could skip.  And her confidence soared.  In fact, it was during this process that she wrote an article for one of the best magazines in the country.

Use the suggestions for inspiration and guidance on your next restaurant outing - and remember that it all takes practice, so please be patient with yourself.

For more information about how to eat healthy in restaurants - you may want to check out week 5 of the Life and Body Makeover.  During that Week, we do an exercise on defining your emotional patterns around eating.  I think you’ll find it super useful.  Check it out here.

But there was something I needed to share with you today about the dreaded bread bowl.  Last night we walked around for about an hour trying to find a good restaurant to eat at.  And despite our best efforts, we couldn’t find anything that had less than an hour wait.  So by the time we all sat down to eat we were starving.  The waiter put the bread basket down on the table - and we were like wild animals who hadn’t eaten in days.  Despite the fact that I haven’t eat white bread in months, I was right there with them.  And then I noticed that I was yawning a bit more last night as a result of all that white flour making me sleepy.  Does this sound familiar?

Here’s the situation.  The problem is not the bread - actually the bread is just an innocent bystander.  When you wait too long between meals and you get to dinner starving- the problem is your blood sugar level.  You haven’t eaten anything and your body is looking to bring your blood sugar levels up to normal FAST.  The fastest way to do that is BREAD (or sugar, pasta, chips, pretzels - whatever you fancy).

Suddenly you are transformed to a manic bread-eating crazy person - and all of your best intentions get thrown out the window.  Now for the record, I don’t think bread is an enemy.  Everything in moderation is perfectly healthy.  But when you are on the third slice…you know what I mean.

So what’s a girl (or guy) to do?  First, don’t let yourself get to the starving point, especially if you are eating at a restaurant.  Get used to carrying around small snacks so that you can eat a little bit every 3 hours or so.  Also, it helps to just eat a quick snack before you sit down for dinner, this is true if you know you’ve already waited to long and are going to eat anything put in front of you.

Here are some snacks that may help:

* a hard boiled egg
* 12 ounces of water
* whole-wheat crackers
* a healthy protein-bar
* nuts
* apples, pears and other fruits
* healthy, high fiber cereals

Snacking is the best way to get over hunger and keep yourself from ravaging the bread bowl or the chip basket.  So the next time you feel like yelling at the bread - try to deal with your hunger instead.

If you want more inspiration with recipes or a complete snack list, check out week 3 of our Life and Body Makeover Program.  We’ve got everything you need to get healthy, lose the weight you want and stay that way forever.  Check it out here.

The goal is simply awareness.  It is getting really clear on why you want something or why you gave into a particular craving.  You see, it’s like a detective game.  Why did you really eat those cookies?  Was it because you were hungry or because you were tired and angry at your boss?  Is there a way that you could prevent it from happening again?

You see I often refer to eating healthy as a “practice” - because every day you have a different set of scenarios to practice with.  For example one of my clients found herself starving at a mother’s day brunch this weekend.  In a pickle and without any healthy food - she decided to enjoy a hot fudge Sunday.  We decided together that Mother’s Day was a perfect day to enjoy ice cream, but that Monday was a perfect day to “practice” eating healthy again.  You see every day and every meal is practice for making positive decisions.

And the more you think of each meal as a practice - the less you’ll beat yourself up over the meals that do not go the way you plan them.  And if you think of yourself as training for a game - you’ll know that you just keep getting better and better the more you practice.  On the days that practice does not go well - all you need to do is determine what could happen better next time.

In the case of many of my clients, practice often leads to the following conclusions.  Use them to help you as you practice eating healthier:

- I need to bring a snack so I don’t get hungry in the middle of my son’s soccer game.

- I need to stop eating muffins for breakfast because they make me crave sugar all day long.

- I need to allow myself to have fun during the day so I don’t use sugar to make me feel good.

- I need to think about dinner before I come home - so I don’t finish the bag of chips while I’m trying to prep it.

So the next time you have an unhealthy meal, a day or even a week - just think of it as practice.  Identify what habits need to change and use the experience as a perfect opportunity to change up your habits so you’ll win the game next time.

If you’d like to learn more about having a healthy mindset around eating and just how much you can improve your practice, please check out week 5 of our Life and Body Makeover Program - in it we include an activity that helps you determine how you can get the most pleasure from your eating and your life.  Check it out here.

Thanks so much!

Monica

So why talk to strangers? Here’s five great reasons why you should chat with the barista, your cabbie or the person standing next to you in line at the airport:

1. It’s a great distraction. It’s really hard to stay wrapped up in whatever drama is happening at work or with your boyfriend when you’re talking to some random person about the latest celebrity gossip.
2. You’ll learn new things. I’ve gotten book recommendations, learned about new restaurants, found out about neighborhood politics and discovered interesting facts about far-away places from talking to strangers.
3. You’ll probably never see them again. With strangers, you can practice flirting, get a new perspective on a problem you’re facing, or get an honest opinion, all without fear of what they might think.
4. You might make a great connection. Sometimes you’ll get that missing job lead you’ve always wanted, or you’ll be able to help someone out, or you’ll end up being friends with the person who introduces you to your future husband. You never know where a random connection could lead.
5. It makes the world a friendlier place. By being friendly, you give others an opportunity to be friendly back, and 99% of the time, people welcome a chance to connect.

This week, make a point to talk to three strangers, and see how it feels. It doesn’t matter what you talk about; sometimes a genuine “How are you doing today?” is all it takes to make a connection, however brief.