The images of a double life - leather suits, hot bodies, sexy weapons - like something out of Mr. and Mrs. Smith all seem very sexy.  But in reality - many of us live double lives that are far from cool.

We live one life on the weekends and during low pressure and less stressful weeks - when we are healthy.  We pack our lunches, eat salads at restaurants, hit the gym 3 times a week, and go to bed early. Ahhh….those healthy weeks.

Then we live another life during those busy weeks when we have a project due or are traveling like mad - when we skip the gym all together, consume too much sugar and coffee, and are chronically sleep deprived.  We know somewhere in the back of our heads that our unhealthy habits are just making everything worse - but the vicious circle just gets worse and worse.

This is especially difficult if you are trying to lose weight.  Because every time stress hits - the weight loss slows or stops all together.  You are constantly on a pendulum - between your healthy life and your unhealthy one.

I totally understand this plight and I struggled with it when I was in corporate and again today as an entrepreneur.  It’s just plain easier to be healthy when nothing else is going on.  And it is very tempting to use food to make things better after a busy day.  My personal favorite calmer - Reese’s peanut butter cups.

But over the years I’ve learned a few things about stress and overwhelm.  First, letting your healthy habits go - only makes it worse.  You wouldn’t believe the effects sugar can have on your mood - especially after the initial high.  What is really a tolerable day can turn into the “worst day in the world” after you’ve consumed too much sugar! Second, a few rules and structure can make things easier.

For example:

1. The busier you become - the more important it is that you have a set healthy eating pattern and schedule so you can focus on your work or family.  Write out 3 healthy breakfasts, lunches and dinners that you can go to in a pinch.  Make sure you have all the ingredients on hand and just switch between them to get you through that busy period. Also, remember to eat at the same times each day - 3 hours apart.  If you need to, set a timer on your computer.  That way, you aren’t thinking - you eat to fuel yourself and then you can keep going.

2. Don’t stop working out.  Just make it easier on yourself by changing it up or reducing the time.  The most important thing about working out is consistency.  That way when you switch back to your healthy double life, you won’t have to start over.  So if you normally spend an hour at the gym, maybe you go for a 30 minute walk instead.  Or perhaps you do a 20 minute yoga routine in your room before work. Or just do some sit-ups and pushups and lunges.  Just keep moving your body, believe me it will help you to get through your busy time.

3. Use “Healthy Fast Food” Options.  Don’t try to cook elaborate meals when you are in your “too busy to be healthy” period.  And don’t beat yourself up for not cooking.  Try ordering some of the healthier meals from Fresh Direct or picking up a meal from the bar at Whole Foods.  Just make sure you plan for both meals and snacks.  You may also want to try a local healthy food delivery service just for a few days or weeks until you can get through your busy periods.

4. Avoid using food as your reward.  When we are working like dogs, it is tempting to use food as a treat after a long day - a comfortable way to chill out and relax.  Make a list of non-food rewards instead.  Perhaps a long walk with a good friend, a bath, a massage, a show.  Plan the rewards ahead of time so that you can look forward to a shining light at the end of a long day (a light that doesn’t add to your hips in the process).

Just remember this, if you can just keep some “healthy systems” in place during your crazy weeks, you’ll find it much easier to be consistent and to see the weight come off faster and consistently.   You’ll also feel much better during those busy times.

learn how to pull together all of your lives!

To check out more on what to eat and how to make it all fit together during your busy times - check out our Life and Body Makeover Program. It contains recipes, meal planners, shopping lists - everything you need to simplify your healthy lifestyle!

where even the best intentions can be thwarted...

I just spent two weekends traveling.  A weekend in Las Vegas and a weekend in Cleveland to visit my newborn niece, who by the way might be the cutest thing on the planet (not that I’m biased).   And I noticed was how hard it is to eat healthy at restaurants. My clients often complain about this, and when I’m out with my friends, I notice how everyone seems to order what I order so that they don’t have to think so hard about it.

Have you ever had the experience of going to a restaurant with the best intentions to eat healthy - so you order fish and vegetables.  Then when the fish comes, it is covered in cream sauce and the veggies are drenched in oil.  You look at your plate and realize that “healthy” is nowhere on this plate.

Or perhaps you’ve been at a restaurant and made the mistake of walking in hungry and before you realize it, you’ve downed a basket of bread or chips?

For most people, the hardest part about maintaining a healthy regimen is eating out with friends.  You get into the spirit of being with friends or family and just wanting to let go, relax and eat what you want.  Who wants to think so hard about food?  All we want is just to have a good time, right?

I totally understand this sentiment.  But, unfortunately 3 unplanned restaurant splurge meals can be enough to slow your weight loss to a crawl (especially if you aren’t working out).  So, if you are someone who eats out more than once a week - than learning to eat healthy at restaurants may be the ticket to you weight loss success.

So let’s start with mindset.  So many of us associate eating out with unhealthy foods like excess cheese, wine and bread and we associate those foods with relaxation after a long day or a long week.  We also associate comfort foods with having fun and finally being able to let go.  The first place to start is to decrease this association.  Yes, relaxing is important after a long week - but are there other ways to relax?  Could you go for a walk, get a massage, call a good friend?  The next time you are a restaurant and about to order the pasta with cream sauce - ask yourself, what does this food represent to me?  If it’s fun, pleasure and relaxation - then could you get that in another way?  It may take some time, but noticing your habits to let your unhealthy foods be the “fun” part of your life is a good place to start.

Second, there’s a few simple tips that may help.

1.  Never go to a restaurant starving.  Always stop at a convenient store or at home and pick up a protein snack ahead of time.  See my last blog post for more tips here.

2. Decide ahead of time what you are going to order at the restaurant so that temptation on the menu does not get the best of you.  You could even look at the restaurant menu on menupages.com and take your time to find what is healthy.

3.  Take your time to look at the menu.  There is usually a healthy option on every menu.  It just takes time to find it.  Most people order the first thing that they see on menus that suits them, but you must hunt for that which is tasty and healthy.   If you find that you get embarrassed when you take the time to really look and think - then get the menu ahead of time.

4. Be sure to ask the waiter what is in your food and ask for substitutions.  I just had a client visit a restaurant and ask for a her soup without cream and her entree without cream and low oil.  The restaurant was more than happy to oblige. If you are stuck in a place where you don’t want to be a pain, ask yourself this - Do you want your really want to find your ideal body?  Or would you rather please everyone?

5. Know when you are going to have a splurge meal.  Decide ahead of time what restaurants you love and pick those as your once a week splurge meal.  You’ll find that it is easier to eat healthy if you allow yourself to eat your favorite foods every so often.

I had a client come to me who was a food and wine writer who ate out 4 times a week and was concerned about her health.  We worked on the suggestions above and she started printing out menus ahead of time and deciding what she wanted to order that way.  Before long she had dropped 15 pounds simply by deciding what foods she was going to eat and what foods she could skip.  And her confidence soared.  In fact, it was during this process that she wrote an article for one of the best magazines in the country.

Use the suggestions for inspiration and guidance on your next restaurant outing - and remember that it all takes practice, so please be patient with yourself.

For more information about how to eat healthy in restaurants - you may want to check out week 5 of the Life and Body Makeover.  During that Week, we do an exercise on defining your emotional patterns around eating.  I think you’ll find it super useful.  Check it out here.

Take a break with a piece of over 70% cacao dark chocolate. Stick to two to three squares and savor them. Enjoy the antioxidants.

Try eating a new leafy green such as kale, collard, chard or bok-choy. The easiest way to cook them is to sauté 2-5 cloves of chopped garlic in olive oil.  Next, add some chopped greens.  Finally, add a cup of liquid, broth, juice, or water and cover the pot.  The steam will make the greens soft.  Enjoy.

Your mama may have told you not to talk to strangers, but you’re an adult now.

So why talk to strangers? Here’s five great reasons why you should chat with the barista, your cabbie or the person standing next to you in line at the airport:

1. It’s a great distraction. It’s really hard to stay wrapped up in whatever drama is happening at work or with your boyfriend when you’re talking to some random person about the latest celebrity gossip.
2. You’ll learn new things. I’ve gotten book recommendations, learned about new restaurants, found out about neighborhood politics and discovered interesting facts about far-away places from talking to strangers.
3. You’ll probably never see them again. With strangers, you can practice flirting, get a new perspective on a problem you’re facing, or get an honest opinion, all without fear of what they might think.
4. You might make a great connection. Sometimes you’ll get that missing job lead you’ve always wanted, or you’ll be able to help someone out, or you’ll end up being friends with the person who introduces you to your future husband. You never know where a random connection could lead.
5. It makes the world a friendlier place. By being friendly, you give others an opportunity to be friendly back, and 99% of the time, people welcome a chance to connect.

This week, make a point to talk to three strangers, and see how it feels. It doesn’t matter what you talk about; sometimes a genuine “How are you doing today?” is all it takes to make a connection, however brief.

Plan to cook a new healthy recipe this weekend. It doesn’t need to be complex, nor time consuming. Here’s a list of healthy recipe ideas to get you started. Just try one this week.

Drink one glass of water in the morning as soon as you wake up.

For extra credit: add a piece of fresh lemon. For a gold star: Make the lemon organic.

Say No.

For many of us, saying no to people we love or who we want approval from can seem near impossible. But without the ability to say No properly, your “yes” becomes downright meaningless. Whether it’s in business or in love, being willing and able say No without explaining yourself can go a long way toward having the energy and resources to devote to the people and things you care most about.

This week, practice saying No when you can’t do something, when a request violates your principles or boundaries, or when you just simply want some time and energy to yourself.  It may feel strange at first, but the extra freedom will be worth it.